


Liquid Confidence

by shalashaska



Series: Love is War [4]
Category: Constantine (2005)
Genre: Cheap Sandwiches, Drunken Confessions, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-01
Updated: 2016-10-01
Packaged: 2018-08-18 20:56:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8175862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shalashaska/pseuds/shalashaska
Summary: Chas is drunk... Pining ensues.





	

He wasn’t over it. It took a few beers – okay, maybe more than a few – and some shots of something he wasn’t familiar with for him to realise it. Before he knew it, though, he found himself leaning against the exorcist, his head resting on his shoulder. Before he knew it he was whispering into the older man’s neck. He wasn’t sure what he was even saying. Maybe it didn’t matter.

John was far from comfortable. He knew that he couldn’t be blamed for Chas’ inability to handle anxiety, but he suddenly felt a pang of guilt for making him worry this much. The young angel was mumbling something he couldn’t quite make out over the sounds of the bar, which was half-filled with patrons.

“John ya knowww… John.” Finally he had said something that almost made sense.

“Chas, what is it? You alright?”

“No, John….“ He pushed against the Hellblazer a bit more, letting his body rest against him as well. “Youuuuu are such… an… idiot…”

“Hey, I don’t care how drunk you are. You can’t just insult me.”

“It’s true!!! It’s actually true…” He started to play with a button on John’s shirt. “Because you and him… you and him…”

“Chas…”

“And you didn’t even notice…”

“Notice what?”

He said nothing for a moment, just staring at nothing before finally speaking. “You didn’t notice at all…. And now you’re with him…”

John figured that Kramer wasn’t going to give him any straight answers. He was usually bottling up his feelings like this, acting grumpy and stand-offish to hide that he was struggling. Now, he was finally loosening up enough to almost give him some honesty, but he could barely speak.

“For fuck’s sake, Chas. If you’re gonna drink like this, don’t complain when I end up driving your car for you.”

“John… ugh…”

\- - - - -

It must have been a pitiful sight, because someone across the road was staring. John ended up having to half drag, half carry Chas outside. Letting him slump into the passenger seat, he asked him for the keys. Chas grunted and fumbled around in his pocket before dropping them into John’s hand.

At first he was going to drive him home, but he wasn’t sure if he was going to be okay. He also specifically remembered him complaining about his neighbours being able to hear him come home late at night, and how he had to start coming home earlier because of it. Perhaps it would be better to spare him the task of having to explain himself to the hot-headed tight ass who lived next door. He pictured a deeply hung over Chas trying to reason with an angry accountant and it didn’t look like a situation anybody wants to be in.

Instead he drove back to the bowling alley, leading Chas through the huge, echoing room. Employees were bumbling around, cleaning things in slow motion and eating candy out of the dispensers. The place had closed half an hour ago.

He helped him up the stairs and down the hallway, and Chas did his best to actually co-ordinate his steps, his feet dragging now and then as he forgot to lift them from the ground.

“Johhhnnn… is this your place?”

“I didn’t want to wake up your crazy neighbour, Chas. I hope it’s alright.”

“John… thanks, man…”

He was worried that the angel would fall asleep before he even made it inside, but he was completely awake – he was just too dizzy to walk correctly. With a wooden click, he closed the door and pressed the switches on the nearby wall, illuminating his spacious apartment.

Chas reclined on the couch, sinking into the leather cushions.

“I like it in your place, anyway… It’s nicer than my shitty place…”

“Well, you’re younger. Soon enough, you’ll be making a lot more money than you do right now.”

“Ya mean it?”

“Well, once I’ve taught you all you need to know, you won’t need to drive a taxi anymore.” John loosened his tie and removed his jacket. “Hell, you could buy a great car and drive that instead.”

“That is, if I don’t spend a lot on booze… hehe…”

“I doubt you’ll make the mistakes I used to.”

“Didn’t I already make a mistake today?”

“Yes, I suppose you did… but you’ll learn from it.” Constantine tugged his refrigerator door open, surveying the foods that decorated the inside. “Do you want anything?”

“Hmm… I could eat.”

Eating would be a good idea – introducing food to the body helps alcohol to get through you faster. If Chas wanted to avoid a hangover in the morning it would be a good idea to eat right now.

Sandwiches weren’t exactly anything special, but they would have to do – he didn’t exactly have the time to cook anything. The angel was slumped on the plush seat, his face flushed a bright crimson and his eyes wandering towards John who waitered a plate piled with sandwiches towards him.

“John… are you an angel, bringing me food in a time of need?”

“God, how drunk are you? You’re the angel here.” John mumbled as he perched himself next to the blissfully intoxicated half-breed, who pinched a sandwich from the plate before he could even set it down on the coffee table.

“Don’t say stuff like that…”

He cocked an eyebrow and turned to face him. “What do you mean?”

“Ohhhhh ya knowww…..” He rolled over, giving John a half-lidded look and leaning on him slightly. “You always say shit that’s gonna make this really hard for me.”

“What in the fuck are you talking about?”

Popping the last of his sandwich into his mouth, he curled his fingers into John’s shirt, tugging him closer and pressing the side of his face to his shoulder.

“It’s already so hard to deal with it, John.”

“With what? I know you’re drunk but can you spare me the vagueness?”

Chas closed his eyes, breathing in and out slowly and monitoring his breath. “Do you really want me to tell you?” His eyes snapped open and he straightened up, suddenly looking directly at him. “You see, this might just ruin everything if I tell you.”

“Try me.”

“I don’t want to ruin everything.”

“Say it.”

“John, I-“

He choked. Tears were peeking out from the corners of his eyes and he looked away for a moment. Was he so drunk that he could barely keep his emotions in?

“John…”

“Just say it, or I’ll be agonising over it later.”

“John I… I fucking…” He probably looked like an idiot right now, on the verge of sobbing on his mentor’s couch. Embarrassment would be creeping in by now if the alcohol wasn’t pushing it away.

“Chas… are you alright?”

“For fuck’s sake, John… I’m so in love with you I hate it…”

And with that he threw his arms over his face, pulling his knees up to his chest and trying not to hyperventilate. He had just thrown his feelings at this man’s feet, and now all he could do was wait for him to respond. Fuck, he was taking forever to respond. It felt like forever before he spoke.

“That’s it?”

Lifting his head slightly, Chas peeked over his sleeved arms to look at John, who still sat in the same relaxed position as before – and here he was, throwing himself around.

“Uh… yeh.”

John lifted a sandwich off of the plate and ate it slowly, chewing each mouthful while deep in thought. Chas just watched, unsure of what he could possibly say.

“Huh. Interesting. You kept that in for a while, didn’t you?”

“I… guess so.”

“Doesn’t it feel good to get it off your chest?”

“Uh… I don’t know.”

“Come on, Chas. You can relax with me, you know that.”

His eyes explored the floor, tracing the grain of the wooden panelling. “But I don’t know how you feel about it.”

Shifting closer to him John tried to reassure the angel, or rather the drunk and emotional mess sat next to him. He curled an arm around his back, pulling him by his shoulder to rest his body closer to his own. Chas would feel his warmth.

“Well, I’m not going to date you.”

“Oh…”

He wanted to just kiss him. Maybe it was the alcohol talking, but he felt like he could just grab John by the shoulders and lose himself in his mouth. He wanted to throw himself into the exorcist’s lap and just give himself to him.

“But I’m also certainly not going to dislike you for it, or blame you for the way you feel.” He patted Chas gently on the head. “After all, a lot of people end up in this situation.”

It wasn’t reassuring at all, and feeling John touch him so affectionately made his heart jump in his chest and he felt like he could drown in his body heat. He didn’t notice he was crying until the tears started to tickle his face.

“I… I’m glad.”

When Chas eventually fell asleep, John lowered him so that he could lay comfortably on the couch, trying to make as little noise as possible as he retired to his own bed. 


End file.
